IS IT ME OR ARE ALL GIRLS BAD?

Maybe you're getting tired of getting in and out of relationships, maybe you're sick and tired of breaking up over the same situations and reasons with different people, my guess is you're starting to realize just maybe its not the other person, maybe its just you. Have you looked at yourself closely? Have you thought a little more about these previous circumstances?

Let us talk a little about this. 

Sometimes, we persuade ourselves into believing that “love hurts.” By adopting this philosophy, we repress the voice in our head that tries to warn us when something isn’t right about our partners. We tune out the screams of our second thoughts and disregard our intuition by convincing ourselves that hardships and pain are a natural element of relationships, and we accept mistreatment as a challenge, many people took this concept into marriage and life hasn't just been a smooth ride for them. We desperately want to prove that we can withstand the conditions and still stay grounded. The issue with this mindset is that we never set clear boundaries for our partners.
Be keen in your understanding of what it means to endure “hard” times. This at no point in time means that in order to have love you must be someone’s flunky or doormat.

For some people, its the situation of being burdened with low self-esteem, they perfume themselves with artificial confidence and make it a personal business to shelter shattered souls and hide their brokenness. Such people fool-heartedly want to be the artist to piece them back together, despite being defective themselves. It is easier for them to try and fix others than to reconstruct their own heart. Be mindful, as long as you remain unhealed, you will continue to attract people who, like yourself, are looking to someone else to feel whole.

The overpowering fear of being alone is the driving force behind the most damaging and barren love affairs. When you are an individual who cannot be left alone with self, you will forfeit your standards and desires for the sake of companionship. When this is your character, you unknowingly signal to love scavengers that you are an easy mark for casualty. Love scavengers are the people who arrive on the scene at what appears to be the, “perfect time.” They are overflowing with romantic language and for a brief moment, you are sure you have finally found “the one.”

Upon realizing this person is in fact not at all what you hoped he/she to be, at this point, you are unable to severe the emotional ties. Here is where we give birth to the codependent relationship. In these relationships, one person naively enables their partner’s “addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.”
There is an infinite list of reasons we attract the wrong love. We are addicted to drama, we don’t believe we deserve better, we’ve never witnessed healthy love in our childhood, we have a low sense of self-worth, so on and so forth. Despite the reasons we find ourselves in bad relationships, please know that they are crafted to provide us with invaluable life lessons.

Haven admittedly laid many dreams to rest for the “greater good” of my past relationships, I bear witness to how imperative it is to never leave your aspirations homeless for any man or woman. Bad relationships teach you that any person who truly adores you will naturally have a deep affection for anything that you are passionate about.

Another critical fact to look at is when your heart is set on finding a love that will last past the honeymoon period, the desires of your heart change. In stages of infancy, superficial qualities are appealing. As you mature, you become less concerned about superficial qualities, and more consumed with assuring that the person you desire to build a life with shares the same aspirations as you.

Dating the wrong person will instill in you the importance of making people earn their stamp of approval BEFORE you engage in an intimate relationship with them. When you are getting to know someone, it is easy to find yourself infatuated with a person’s potential. You hear them sing about their wildest dreams and you want to harmonize. 

Bottom line is we all have just one life to live and it is the important who we spend it and who we spend it with. Relationships are key and we should think back and front before making our choices.